paycheck without bank

1) I'm shocked Christine would use the phrase "dumb person" when addressing breeze.
Now, I'd definetely nutcase for all the reasons above-- especially, how can you have an open account and no date of opening?
If you have pretty good credit lines with Citi and want a backdoor way to get a zero percent BT offer from them, I would recommend having them create another account for you.
You don't really have any reason to sue them, but the letter has to sound like you are going to sue them for vague, complicated, convoluted reasons that no one can quite figure out - but sound like you are just crazy enough to do it.